What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Old, Asian, Woman who drive

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a boy liked a girl. too bad she didn't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats more serious than rape the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops