What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Guess what? Bananas

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Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops