How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

No

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops