Hey! Where is my tracker?

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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epic win?

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Your life

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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