I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey! Where is my tracker?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops