Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Your mother just died.

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No

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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