So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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