What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Knock knock *open*

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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