A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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The Princess is in another castle

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Knock knock Shut up

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Jack Stevens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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