who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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