Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your Mum is soo fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops