A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops