a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -166

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops