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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops