What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How does shit taste?\ Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops