Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +5

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

justin littleton being sucessful

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Oh, right

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops