Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

Wright flyer

I wrote a funny joke.

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

Whats 9 + 10? 19.

What's round and orangey? An orange.

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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