What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops