A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the boy crying he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man gets pushed in to a pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock, Ow my face

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops