Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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