what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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justin littleton being sucessful

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops