Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Kys

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops