roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock, Ow my face

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the boy crying he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man gets pushed in to a pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops