2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

joe diragi whacks off his dog

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...