Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

thumb_up thumb_down +16

feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the street? K

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops