Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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BOTTOM!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Women's Rights

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops