How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops