What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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