What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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