What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops