Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

think twice or at least think

What's grey and can't fly? A castle

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

A man gets shot in the balls by a huge swarm of bees HE IS VERY NICE AND FILLED WITH RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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