What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops