Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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