Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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