What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Womens rights

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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