Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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well now

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Poop

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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