Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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