What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

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I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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