In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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BOTTOM!!!

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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