How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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