Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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