well now

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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