What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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they're dead. idiot.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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