knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Daniel is a fag

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Why? Why not?

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Who is John Galt?

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops