Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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