a seal walks into a club.

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Hello.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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