How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's a good joke? Not this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops