What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where's the dick??? east

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I need to start studying.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops