How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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