How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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