A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Female Orgasms

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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