What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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think twice or at least think

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops