this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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WHAT????

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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